Playing the Zir Chemed Game - Bringing Miracles to Life
© Esther Teichtal / Zir Chemed
The ladies arrived breathless and excited. Cheryl came in holding
an elegant fruit platter "something small for dessert," she says.
"You shouldn’t have" laughed Deena, hostess of the team "I did
mean it when I said you should just come and enjoy the quiz…" "Hmmm"
she added, taking a peek under the silver foil wrap –"on second
thoughts – this looks delicious. It will be greatly appreciated
– thanks!"
"Cheryl – this is Karyn," Deena said, gesturing at a slim slip
of lady standing right behind her. "Karyn – this is Cheryl…"
Deena turned to answer the door again whilst the ladies stopped
and started their way into a network of new friendships. They entered
the warm house eagerly – the aroma of rich pumpkin soup beckoning
them into the dining room. Coats came off; gloves and bags flew
into a heap onto the mahogany side table.
"Something smells good in here, Deena. What is it?" asked Sara.
"Ha!" chuckled Deena, pleased with the compliment – "It’s your recipe
– don’t you recognize it?" Sara raised an eyebrow -"Really?!" she
said. She paused for a moment, sniffing the air; trying to identify
the odor.
"What’s going on?" a breezy voice came through the open doorway.
A bespectacled young lady stood dripping in shiny wet boots and
raincoat. "Do you smell gas or something?" she sounded concerned.
"Hi, Jessica!" echoed a welcoming chorus from the crowd around
the table. "Come on in… Sara is just trying to recognize the smell
from my kitchen – perhaps you can figure it out? I hope you’ll enjoy
it …" added Deena to the ladies, "it came out delicious, if I may
say so myself…" and she winked with a grin.
Unwinding her scarf as she entered, Jessica seemed a little
puzzled. "You mean they sent cooked food this year for us to identify?
Wow!!! That takes some organizing…." And she shook her head in wonder.
There was a moment of quizzical silence – then the sound of
laughter. "No – this has nothing to do with the Trivia night, Jessica
- we wouldn’t have begun without you anyway – you’re our resident
professor! Sara was simply asking what was cooking and I teased
her – it’s her own recipe… anyway, Sara – this is the pumpkin soup
you made for us after Tzviki was born – remember?..." but before
she could reply, Cheryl interjected. "Seriously, girls, that wouldn’t
be a bad idea, would it?" she rested her chin on her fist in mock
gravity – "shall we suggest it in the feedback section? In next
year’s quiz, please send out ten cooked dishes for each team to
identify blindfolded… " her hands groped wildly and her nose danced
a zigzag shuffle in a fantastic display of snooty sniffing. Cheryl
loved acting and she was on a roll now. Laughter galloped round
the room.
"Yeah, sure – you can be the one to cook the ten different entrees,
make four hundred parcels each, and send them around the world to
twenty different countries…" chuckled Deena. "But come on, girls
– we haven’t got that much time and it’s a long game this year.
Let’s get cracking…"
Four hundred homes. Twenty countries. Yes – this isn’t just make-believe. On the longest Motzaei Shabbos of each winter for four years running, so far, a game has been played by teams of ten in Jewish communities throughout the world. In cities as far apart as Manchester is from Melbourne, groups of friends have gathered round tables in anticipation of an evening of mind-challenging fun.
Close to twenty years ago Rabbi Nachum Tenenbaum - a seventh generation Jerusalemite with close connections to the London Kehilla - welcomed an old friend, Dr. Baruch Brooks, to Israel. As Embryologist and Religious Supervisor of the newly created IVF Unit at Sha’arei Zedek hospital in Jerusalem, Dr. Brooks became keenly aware of the need for a medical center offering professional, individualized treatment in a warm and discreet setting. Together with Rabbi Tenenbaum he decided to make the dream a reality…
Fifteen percent of the general population may suffer, at some point, from infertility.
In the Jewish world, where a couple’s dreams revolve around building a vibrant family home; where their parents wait from the proverbial breaking of the glass to hear that grandchildren are on the way; and where a married woman can barely enjoy a five minute schmooze with her next door neighbor without the chitchat rolling towards the price of diapers and her eldest son’s Bar Mitzvah; being the one who has nothing to say can be a repeatedly painful exercise.
As some ladies find out a while after marriage – it might be hard when your kids keep you up at night, but it can be much harder when they don’t.
Some people yearn to feel the softness of a baby’s face brush against their cheeks as they rock them to sleep. They ache to hear a baby cry. And not just any baby – they want a baby of their own.
When a child doesn’t come easily the couple may suffer for years before reaching the doctor who can help them find their dream. The frustration of sitting in the park alone observing other people’s infants take their faltering first steps; watching moms shop for baby clothes while they only linger longingly in the baby department; the pain of watching parents parade their precious tiny tots – while they still wait... in vain. That pain runs deep. What’s more, it is often borne in silence.
Back when Zir Chemed was still in its infancy, Dr. Brooks tried fundraising once from a wealthy businessman in the USA. Zir Chemed was in dire need of funds at the time and he was anxious for a generous donation. After making his pitch the man turned him down. "Sorry," he said, "but this isn’t really my type of thing. I prefer to donate to causes that resonate with my own interests."
The doctor was stunned - caught in a bind. He knew for a fact that this man’s very own grandchild had been born as a result of Zir Chemed’s medical assistance! Here was the perfect opportunity for this businessman to do unto others… Yet his children had obviously preferred to hide their troubles – as so many do – and, true to Zir Chemed policy, Dr. Brooks never said a word to set the record straight…
A couple going through infertility often guard their privacy with care. You might not be aware of it – but a sister, a nephew; perhaps even your own daughter might be looking for the very services that Zir Chemed offers. Yet you might never know if your favorite niece or your loving grandchild was born with Zir Chemed’s help – because the center’s doctors will never tell.
Dr. Brooks - Zir Chemed’s Scientific Director, travels extensively to Jewish communities in Europe and the USA where he provides initial consultations and counseling to couples who may then maintain contact via e-mail, faxes and telephone conferences upon his return to Israel.
Dr. Hava-Yael Schreiber is one of Israel’s leading fertility experts and has been Zir Chemed’s Medical Director since 1997. Dr. Schreiber is especially known for her sensitivity – and success rate – in this field. Since joining Zir Chemed Dr. Schreiber has helped developed expertise in several areas, including infertility diagnosis and treatment within a halachic framework; supervision and delivery of high-risk pregnancies, and diagnosis and treatment of cervical lesions.
The center’s professional staff is steadily growing and the unique work that Zir Chemed does is greatly supported by incoming donations and by the fundraising events organized by global chapters of Friends of Zir Chemed.
Annual musicals presented by Regal Productions in association with the Ramat Bet Shemesh Friends of Zir Chemed have already become a household name. (CD’s may be purchased through the Zir Chemed website – www.zirchemed.org and in select stores in local Jewish communities).
Under the energetic direction of Devorah Rabinowitz and co-director,
Rivky Feld, Jerusalem Friends of Zir Chemed have
come up with their own brilliant brainwave - for four years running
they have staged the annual Worldwide Treats n’ Trivia night. Garnering
huge popularity over the years, in 2006 the
game was played by four hundred household teams.
Four hundred teams- you do the math. Over four thousand kindhearted
people felt the need of childless couples, and joined together to
show their care.
Something in the concept of so many friendly groups playing against each other across the globe, united in spirit for such a special cause brightens the evening in its own unique way.
"So, ladies – who hasn’t heard about Zir Chemed yet?" asks Deena with a refreshing directness. Well… the proceeds of this evening go towards…"
As explanations were made and the pamphlets handed round, Rachel tuned out. She didn’t need to hear about Zir Chemed. A young woman in her mid twenties, she had attended this evening out of appreciation as much as out of a penchant for fun. Married to Benjamin since 1997, for the Brooklyn-born Rachel - who moved to Israel after her wedding - having a baby was much more than a anticipated given; it was the realization of her life’s dream: to be a loving, super-duper mom. Yet by the time Rachel and Benjamin came to Zir Chemed in 2004 they were depressed and despairing.
For anyone longing to be a parent, the yearning runs deep. Far beyond the obvious, childlessness can impacts a person’s experiences in a myriad subtle and painful ways. The journey to parenthood is often long and difficult. Therapeutic procedures can be painful, the fees prohibitive, and the waiting and hoping an emotional roller coaster. For religious Jewish couples, infertility presents its own particular obstacles; rabbis may be unaware of the nuances of this highly specialized field of Jewish law and doctors may be unfamiliar with couples’ special needs.
This is where Zir Chemed becomes an invaluable resource for a struggling couple. Since 1996, the Jerusalem-based Zir Chemed Medical Center has helped thousands of couples resolve their infertility by reconciling the complex and sometimes competing demands of science, halacha and human emotion.
Thankfully, in recent years the Jewish community has seen a heightened awareness regarding the need for fertility-related expertise. Since the founding of Zir Chemed, a number of organizations have been established to help cater to Jewish couples. Mostly they offer financial assistance or medical advice and referrals. Zir Chemed is unique in that actual on site medical treatment is provided – beginning with patiently thorough diagnostic procedures and up to and including emotional counseling to those who ask for it. All work is carried out within a religious framework and is available both to couples who visit the Jerusalem center and to couples who call from abroad. Many couples - frequently dispirited by a lack of understanding they have met with elsewhere, have been encouraged by the Zir Chemed team to persist – and have achieved their dream of becoming parents.
When a Jewish couple goes for treatment they are looking for someone who will understand their need for discretion; for the highest standards of ethical and halachic integrity; and who will support them, with warmth, every step of the way.
It was for people like Rachel and her husband, Benjamin, that the Zir Chemed Medical Center was established.
The ladies were warming up to the fun and began quipping jokes
over their trivia savvy – or lack of it... Rachel, however, felt
a wave of pensiveness wash over her as she recalled the connection
she once had to Zir Chemed – a connection that had its root in a
completely different kind of guessing game.
When Rachel and Benjamin first met Zir Chemed’s clinical staff
for their initial consultation, a battery of extensive, but relatively
non-invasive, blood tests were immediately carried out. Many complex
factors may influence fertility, and much care is given at the center
to making a thorough analysis before presenting a prognosis. Once
received, a careful balance of medications regulated Rachel’s conditions
and Rachel and her husband were encouraged warmly not to give up
hope. This time, finally, after seven long years, Rachel gave birth
to a beautiful baby boy. When Rachel left the house this evening
she left Benjamin babysitting for a bouncy Menachem with extraordinary
compliance. He figured that with seven years of child minding to
catch up on he really could have no complaints.
For its first five years Zir Chemed operated out of a converted basement warehouse with space and facilities grossly inadequate to meet the needs of its growing clientele. Two years ago the center moved to a ground floor apartment in a discreet residential neighborhood. Plans are underway, however, to build a streamlined, state-of-the-art medical facility, which – thanks to an ingenuous in-the-round design – will provide the ultimate comfort and privacy for all Zir Chemed clients.
In the new building there will be room for nurses’ stations and laboratories where elementary services may be provided on location – eliminating the need for patients to go elsewhere for tests. There are plans to have two training and lecture halls built in to the new building where our doctors can further serve the community by providing seminars in their areas of expertise.
Above all, the new building will be custom designed to reflect the need of the special services offered at the center, including multiple entrances and exits to preserve the dignity of couples coming for treatment.
The funds raised by the 2006 Trivia event were
dedicated by the Jerusalem committee towards the final payment on
the land purchase for the new Zir Chemed building. Each successful
fundraiser brings the organization closer to helping couples receive
the treatment they need in a setting they deserve.
With this in mind houses frequently play the quiz with heartwarming
generosity. In 2006 Mr. G. entered his hosts’ home in a particularly
convivial mood. "If we win this year’s game – I’ll match what
this house raises penny for penny…" he declared. Their team
won – no mean feat! – and Mr. G. made an independent donation of
One thousand US Dollars.
***
Splitting up the quiz between them, the ladies worked on finding
answers for a full solid hour before stopping for Melave Malka.
Questions varied from geography to cryptic clues to Jewish knowledge
to the classics. Half the fun lay in ringing round the world looking
for answers when the team felt stumped; the other half lay in spouting
zany guesswork when there was no one left to call.
"Goodness… I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much"
said Cheryl, with a shake of her head. They were still giggling
over the call she just made to her aunt in Tel Aviv. They were looking
for an answer to a clue on classical music. Her aunt hadn’t been
in but her Russian cleaner had come up trumps. Life is full of surprises.
Zir Chemed proves that point. People the world over have been helped and are being helped by Zir Chemed; people who have been so close to giving up.
Rabbi Tenenbaum, Dr. Brooks and the entire staff share a vision -
to give each couple the treatment they need, with the warmth and dignity
they would like to receive. Zir Chemed firmly believes that each and
every couple deserves to be surprised with a wondrous child of their
own.
***
The Jerusalem Friends are currently planning yet another exciting theme for this winter’s Fifth Annual Treats N’ Trivia Night – to take place, Iy"H, on February 2nd 2008.
You too can participate in one of the most exhilarating trivia games you have ever experienced!
To register as hosts for a team call Tel. 1 718 232 0376 (USA).
For Israel call 054 471 8420 or 00 972 2 653 7214.
Alternatively, you can register online at – quiz@zirchemed.org or
visit www.zirchemed.org to
learn more about Zir Chemed
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Zir Chemed Medical Center
4a Puah St., Kiryat Moshe, Jerusalem
Tel. 972 2 653 6859 / 4
www.zirchemed.org